Am I in a relationship that is leading to abuse?

[The Big E]

There are two major red flags in his treatment of you:

If he treats you as a possession of his that requires defending, doesn't that indicate a lack of trust in you when left to your own resources? Does it not also indicate his view of your relationship as him being master with you as the slave of his desires? In either case, you end up being something less than his equal partner. That kills more relationships than it ever saves. So! Which are you going to end up being? His enabler? Or his moment of truth that enables him to be worthy of the love offered him?

In terms of Transactional Analysis, where do you believe his actions and attitudes places your relationship as it is presently unfolding?

I'm O. K. -- She's O. K.
I'm O. K. -- She's Not O. K.
I'm Not O. K. -- She's O. K.
I'm Not O. K. -- She's Not O. K.

Of course, the ideal relationship would fall into the first category.
The fourth category guarantees the relationship is assuredly doomed to failure.
The second and third portend probable failure.

Think of this from the neck up and the heart out, rather than from the waist down, and prudence along with common sense will probably lead you to the realization that your best long range interest would be better served by seeking the companionship of one who would make such considerations unnecessary to begin with.

If he lacks confidence in your place in the living of his life, why should you have confidence in his place in the living of yours? I see codependence where there should be love. Why don't you?