Thoughts of becoming a murderer (please read thoroughly)?

[Edward]

You are 14 years old, 14! At an age where hormones are'uh ragin', your emotions can certainly be running high! First off, you won't hurt your family or do any of that stuff, I know this why? Well 1) you are asking for help. If you are asking for help, you know it is wrong. If it is wrong you won't do it anyway because you love/care for your family and you don't want them to get hurt. Simple logic! Now doesn't that all seem kind of stupid! Killers are people who are messed up in the head and they don't feel this care for other people like you do. This allows them to kill senseless and not feel any remorse. They wouldn't feel bad after blaming their sister for losing! You are a growing kid and you still got a lot more years to grow. I say if you need help and your immediate family can't provide it, go to another close relative you know and speak with them about it.

On another note, sorry about the situation with your friends and the school doing these bad things as well. If what they did was bad and you KNOW it, you have knowledge my friend. Knowledge is power. Just know in your heart the truth and stick by it - people make mistakes, we all make mistakes. It isn't fair to yourself to keep dwelling on these past mishaps/problems you've endured because of one mistake you did (I don't know what happened but I am just saying, I am sure you get what I mean).

I hope things get better for you, love your sister and and don't let stupid ideas affect you so much! I think this is just a phase you will pass, but at the same time I wouldn't want you to not look into help. Speak with someone you can trust (immediate or look to close cousins/aunts/grandparents) and let them know it is private. Good luck