I feel like I have a mental problem.?

[Wee Jaime]

Ryan,
I understand you perfectly when you say that this is only half of it. It amazed me reading your post since so much of what you wrote is strikingly similar to my own life. My dad has never been around and is literally nonexistent in my life. I'm 18 by the way. My sister, 4 years older, strict and very close to my mom. And my mom, a spitting image of yours. Doesn't care about what I do at night or who my friends are, but has a tendency to explode on the tiniest disagreement, leaving me feeling robbed of my energy and happiness. II myself have been seeing a psychologist for a while, and i feel like I can pass some things along in your direction. First things first, what really stuck out about your post was how obviously bad you felt about yourself. In your mind, everything is your fault and your mother's criticisms of you are all justified. YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS! Don't necessarily ignore her completely, (although I personally have done this with my mother) but for your sake, try not to feel so bad about yourself. Your mother is most likely overburdened by various stresses. Her failed marriage, possibly financial or work-related issues, and because she feels that her life is in disarray, she feels the need the meticulously organize and prefect yours. She sees you as an extension of herself. This being said, if you continue to pay strict attention to her criticisms, you will be overpowered by her, and your life will no longer be your own. You must emancipate yourself. Don't abandon her (at least not yet), but at the very least recognize when her criticisms are irrational. Let me guess, you didn't clean something, or your grades weren't good enough or whatever. In response to these slight under-performances on your part, she explodes as if it were the most important thing imaginable. These criticisms of hers, despite being the result of possible mistakes on your part, are in no way justified and do not help the situation. Again I stress, the most important thing you can do is recognize when her criticisms seem completely out of bounds and out of control, and respond accordingly. Do not provoke her. Appease her. Play along. And definitely, definitely, see a psychologist. Your current psych problems are not presently extremely serious, but in my experience, if you ignore them the issue will be deeply exacerbated in the coming future. By the way, I don't know what your mom is like, but the issue would be much better if you could get her to accompany you to see a psychologist. Just tell her that it will be a good opportunity to come to terms with some of the stresses that she is obviously overpowered by. You two should see one together, as well as individually.