How do I access Facebook by using my microwave?

[Too Ragidda]

man alls yhu gotstado is go ta russia. dem russians hav dis special kinna button dat be located in the Ulcidian Magnetic Field. once yhu be findin dat button yhu can be accessin all kinna features. but first yhu be havin ta get bck home. now. airport security aint gon want yhu to be havin no buttons from some russian magnetic ass field. kaysonow yhus gots to swim back home or whtnot n yhu gotta get to yo microwave (or i spose yhu cudda brought yo microwave wit yhu to russia or bought yhus a new ones er something of dat nature) n yhus has gots to put da button where yhu want yo facebook to b. den yhu gotta slam yo neck in da door like 8 or 11 times n den yo profile will be up n runnin.
guud luck. dem russians dont let yhu take no pictures n dey airport so yhus has gots ta be careful