Trying to forget an abusive boyfriend?

[Patricia]

Hi... i'm sorry you put yourself through that relationship and didn't break away a long time ago.

Your ex doesn't think he's above everyone, he has anger issues, doesn't like himself and he's headed for life trouble if he doesn't get help. How can he treat YOU or anyone with regard when he doesn't care about himself? This is the reason he abused you - and he was probably abused at home, his father likely abused his mother in some ways. Abuse is a cycle.

You aren't taking care of yourself at 84 pounds and with all the hair loss. What you're doing is continuing to punish yourself. You really need to consider learning how to love yourself, about self-esteem, ,self-compassion and also gratitude. It's very important to work on self-improvement, especially when we have come out of a relationship. It's difficult for everyone, even those who haven't experienced an abusive relationship.

You are also going to have to be very careful in your selection of future partners once you have recovered from this break up. They say "dysfunctional is our safe place" when we are accustom to it. You DO NOT deserve to be mistreated, and be very very selective about men in the future. If, for example, you go on a date or two with a man you feel has potential,, but you feel discomfort on the date, it's time to WALK AWAY from the guy and to stop seeing him. Please dont let little things slide on initial dates because the behaviors and level of discomfort won't get better with time.

A man can be a gentleman on the first dates, and if not, lose him. If you do become involved with someone and they give you the slightest indication that they are an abuser or treats you with disregard, it's time to break up, ,even if it means you're going to be alone for a while. Better to be alone than to experience constant stress anxiety and turmoil.

You can probably find information on line about surviving an abusive relationship if you do a search. I'd also suggest Loving Yourself, Self-Esteem Self-Help, Gratitude and Self Compassion

Take care of you!