Long distance boyfriend, should i trust him?

[James M]

To be honest this sounds pretty fishy to me.. I have met women online, met up with them to have a nice date and even had a couple instances where we started a relationship. I have also had it where we met and they did not look like their pictures at ALL. Scary to think about, but I still try my luck. From the most part, people that are dating online are hiding something. Does that mean they are bad people? Not at all. There is just a reason that they are using online dating as a crutch. For me, I do not meet very many new people since I work from home and I am also rather shy. I do not ask women out very often when I am out with friends or anything of the sort, so this is actually the only time I converse with women with the intent to date.

I have also had it where they call me and I will answer them so they can feel comforted with my voice and know that I am around the age stated and they can get a feel for me as well. Many people talk in a much different tone than what you would actually imagine. I am actually a good looking guy, but do not like using FaceTime on my iPhone or skyping for all that matter, again, I am shy. BUT, if you are really interested in the other person, no matter how shy you are, you NEED to present yourself before meeting with the other, so both parties are comfortable.

Talking on the phone is the best place to start. Then a live video feed so you can at least see one another. If this guy you are dating for 14 months cannot even talk to you on the phone there is a real problem and you need to address them immediately. Tell him, you understand that he's more than likely shy, but to continue anything with him, you really need to be able to trust one another. He can get defensive and say you don't love him or respect him for not listening that he does not wish to speak on the phone. However, you need to tell him that you are not being shown any respect for your feelings and that he should TRUST you enough to converse with you on the phone.

For 14 months, this is definitely a very bad sign if he will not speak to you or video chat with you. He could be shy, but you need him to get over that immediately, or else you need to tell him straight up to stop wasting your time. I hope this works out for the two of you. But for your sake and well being. You need him to do this for you either the next time you talk or the time after. Tell him everything that you have posted here and if he still does not understand.. I am deeply sorry.

Good luck with everything between the two of you and it can still work out!