Why am I such a big loser on facebook?

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You should start by adding your Family and Friends first. Be nice when you comment on something, and post positive thing.
People don't like rude comments or someone who is annoying, they will delete you. But once you have your family and the friends you have on FB, their own friends will start sending you requests.
Be careful who you accept, there are a lot of weird people out there and just because they are your friends, friends, doesn't make them any safer.
Stick with the people you know, who cares if you don't have that many. People that have tons of friends on FB don't even talk to all of them, or know them at all. They end up being just that, FACES on their page.