A question about my social media paper?

[river j]

Intro:
With the younger generation, spending increased amounts of time online, the rising popularity of social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, is putting strain on the business aspects of companies that uses television and printed media for exposure. As a result, advertisers now attempt to market their television shows, movies, and print ads effectively through those social media sites in hopes of reaching younger audiences.
In conclusion, with the rise of the Internet, Social media has taken over the traditional media in attempts of reaching the younger generation. Social networking sites have opened new doors for advertising and grabbing the attention of the younger generation and as well as the older generations who are starting to use these sites. With the popularity of Facebook and MySpace, advertisers will be using these sites as a way to draw there consumers to their products instead of television and printed media. (No new information in the last paragraph and your own opinion)
I hope this helps, without the rest of the paper, i could add any more details. In your conclusion, sum up your paper and in your first focuse on your main points.