How to live a normal life?

[linzi]

Ive been raised with a life of crime and drama-my father died in jail when i was 5, my mother was addicted to crack and heroin and met a very nasty guy when i was 9 who subjected us to witness some terrifying things...when i was 14, my mother and her partner were imprisoned for possession with intent and made the papers. I lived with my 16yr old brother in a rented house and managed to maintain that by using my mothers money...that was eventually stopped and consequently i had to leave school to get work. In the meantime my mother demanded i visit her in jail and take things in to her as she feared she may die....i chose a different path and refused eventually...unfortunately, the damage of public knowledge was done and we were evicted from our house and i was refused work,'we dont want drug dealers daughter working here'.....i learnt quickly that my 'history' would isolate me from achieving a normal life and didnt speak about it again...putting on a social mask...i gained employement and my mother was released-clean from class A drugs when i was 18. She had an unconventional way of living and enjoyed analysing everything from media manipulation to government control-insisting that we were all being numbed and we were not to conform....i went to uni, had children and got a job as a TA in a primary school...i have never taken drugs and do what i can to avoid crime yet my mother is still dependant on me!...she's left her house saying she fears her life and keeps sending me messages that i am selfish and dont care etc. I'm feeling so frustrated with this situation and suffocated by all the drama!...I genuinely try to avoid it but she keeps involving me. Am I selfish? Disloyal? I dont want my children to think thats normal...