i want to check a person's friends list on facebook?

[abraXus]

there is no way around this - if the person doesnt want non-friends seeing her friends list, then she has that right

if there is no option to send her a friend request, that means that the two of you have no mutual friends, and she doesnt not allow requests from people unless they have at least 1 friend in common with her

and if you send her a message not being her friend, it will just go into her "other messages" folder, she wont be notified about it being there, and she will probably never read it

in this case, it's best to just leave her alone - obviously she is not open to making new friends like you