What would YOU do in this Facebook situation ?

[Jennifer]

I had a situation like that a few months ago and it really kind of crushed my spirit. I'm an introvert anyway and so when I open my mouth to say something, it's because I've tried to think over my word choices and I am trying to say something specific, not cause offense. Realizing of course that on Facebook, or even email and text, you can't always tell things like tone of voice (even with the use of emoticons), people do end up reading into an innocent statement something that was never intended.

The thing about Facebook in your situation, was that if it was in the comments section, it was available for everyone he knew to see...so obviously there was nothing untoward about it, certainly nothing "so" personal that it needed to be hidden and private messaged or something like that, so the jealousy factor was unwarranted. Jealousy rarely needs a logical motivation though, and she probably does have issues and he may have been trying to be respectful/mindful of that, which prompted him to message you what he did. Or...perhaps he's afraid of confrontation and it's his own issue, and that's why (illogically enough) he confronted you about it. Either way, I know how you feel. Here's someone who you don't have a lot of communication with, and there was nothing overtly offensive and yet the message implies that you'd done something wrong.

I don't know that people consciously think about it or not, but when you post stuff on Facebook, you're opening yourself up to comments from any and everyone who can see it, be they good or bad. If people want things to remain private or whatever, then Facebook is not the medium to be discussing them.

The thing that happened with me was that someone who "friended" me, who I only know from a different online forum (we have several friends in common), posted an artistic photo that he'd taken of the back of "someone's" head. I say "someone" because from the photo, you can't tell who it is, or even if it's a guy or girl, though the hair was cut very short. The person photographed had one of those gauged ear hole things, where there is just a giant hole instead of an earring, and they were standing on a roof somewhere with the US Capitol building in the distance. The photo was shot so that the Capitol way off in the distance was visible through the gauged ear hole. I made a comment to the effect that even though I don't really get excited for the ear hole look, I bet the US Capitol has never been photographed that way and that it was a great shot. No derogatory remarks about the person were said...plus who am I but some random person who none of this guy's other friends would know anyway? It was just a comment made on a photo posted.

Not two minutes later I had a private message from him asking me "could you delete your comment please". I was mortified because it was a no big deal comment (and I don't comment a lot as it is), and because it's "his" post and you can delete other people's comments from your posts at will, so why he felt the need to single me out to delete it myself, I don't know. I went ahead and deleted it and considered just restricting him or unfriending him or whatever, because now I'm thinking, "What other unsuspecting comment am I going to make that's going to be censored? I really don't know". I didn't end up doing that, but I don't comment on his stuff anymore, for the same reason. I would rather someone block/unfriend me than leave me on there and either ignore what I say or try to censor it. So I kind of know how you feel and understand why you did what you did. It just removes you from any potential for the situation to get even more weird/worse. Sorry it worked out that way.