I always feel alone, I hate myself, I role play on Facebook and I hardly talk to people in real life, help?

[Jacoblikesmetal]

I've always been a rather solitary person, and I tend to spend as much time by myself as possible, but, as much as I say I like it, I'm just hurting inside, I have been depressed/sad since February, when I accidentally joined a role playing community on Facebook by friending someone who posted on my Facebook page. After that I ended up slowly adding more of them and I had added about 100 of them by April. Then I started having feelings for someone on there and when I changed my relationship status my parents found out and deleted my account because I refused to get rid of her or the friends I had made, so I have been resentful ever since, and I have carried on regardless. It may also be worth mentioning that this role playing community is made up primarily of people role playing as furry fandom characters and dragons and I chose to role play as a dragon and I have been looking for a ‘mate’ or girlfriend on there for some time and I have had no luck, most of them didn’t last longer than a week, and it really hurts because inside I’m hoping to find someone I can maybe one day meet up with, but now I’ve been banned from roleplaying, I’ve been forced to do this in secret and right now I don’t see a way my parents will be convinced it is safe and let me carry on, because I have been lied to by a few people on there, the worst being my most recent ‘girlfriend’ on there which I thought was a Norwegian girl but it turned out to be another one of my friends making a fake account and talking to me through that, and he only came clean after a month, and I had really had got my hopes up and I was crushed to find out and now I feel stupid and unwanted and I am feeling like maybe I should give up because I don’t think there is anyone in my roleplaying community who actually wants me, but I don’t even talk to many of the roleplaying friends I have, the ones I do talk to I would consider good friends in real life because they do help me out and try to make me feel better, but I just feel worthless and talentless because I can’t draw like any of the friends I have there. I feel like there I have nothing that makes me desirable because I am also autistic and I find it really hard to ask anyone on there who might actually consider me. And it is also hard to find someone who is about the same age as me, so far I have tried 5 people, none of which have worked out, so I’m really disheartened from finding anyone, even though my closest friends on there try to cheer me up and tell me to keep trying. But I don’t know anymore, sometimes I go to bed and cry myself to sleep over my sadness, or dream about being alone, and when I get reminders all the time that I am alone and this hurts even more. And I often think that I don’t want to live anymore but suicide is stupid so I would never consider it. But I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, I don’t get out with friends, I don’t have a part time job and I’m doing A Levels now and every day I’m just feeling helpless and alone. The friends I have on there are telling me to be more confident, but I don’t think I have anything to be confident about, so my self-hatred is intensifying every day and I don’t see it getting any better, because I can’t tell my parents about this or I will get found out, and lose the new account I made and my friends and this will make everything worse. All I want is to find someone in my Facebook role playing community that likes me and maybe I could meet them someday, because I can’t ask people in real life because I’m too scared, so this is basically it, my only chance at finding someone, and I’m 16 and it’s really hard to find anyone on there who is genuinely 16 and not lying to me, and I’m not stupid enough to tell anyone on there my contact details unless I video call them and see they are telling the truth. So there you go, all I want is to find someone that loves me and wants to meet me someday… I'm just asking for advice, so please don't criticize or judge me, I just don't know where else to turn.