Writers: How would you feel about these things?

[Ritsuka]

1) People started a Team [Your character] or Team [Your other character].
~ Oh how I dread teams! I wouldn’t be too happy.

2) Started comparing your book to their favorite book in the whole wide world: Twilight.
~ Once again, I wouldn’t be too happy…

3) Started calling themselves Mrs. [Your character's name].
~ Um, only in your dreams Mrs. Damien, he’s homosexual.

4) Started being mean and belligerent to anyone who trashed your book.
~ I could take some of that, but only if they had a reason. For some reason, it amuses me to see stuff like that…

5) Started pestering you about when the next book in your series will come out even though you JUST finished this one.
~ My response: “I will just write slower the more you pester me.”

6) Started leaving awesomely fantastic reviews about your book anywhere they can, but along the lines of "OMG [Your character's name] is sooo hot. You have to read this book. It's sooo good."
~ I wouldn’t be too happy at those kinds of reviews.

7) Started being mean and belligerent to anyone who said bad things about your character.
~ I would be mad that my fans refuse to allow others to have opinions.

8) Created a Twitter account and posted as your character.
~ Not amused.

9) Created a PARODY Twitter account and made fun of your character.
~ Once again, not amused.

10) Started asking around for your real address.
~ My response: “Go get a hobby, stalker.”

11) Started showing up at EVERY reading, book signing, or public appearance you make.
~ Oh, boy, I would be amused at their deduction but shocked by their stalker-ish ways.

12) Said they wished your character was their boyfriend because he's more real than any real-life boy.
~ Once again I would explain how he is homosexual.

13) Said they dreamed and thought about your character every day.
~ Call them “mental” and walk away.

14) Said they cried because their friends talked badly about your book.
~ Tell them to allow others to have opinions.

15) Waited in an hour-long line that progressed around the bookstore's corner at midnight waiting for the release of your book, and they also stood in line tearing up over it.
~ Could care less.

16) Asked where they can read or download the book for free.
~ My response: “Just buy the book already, or borrow it, anything but downloading illegally.”