Is it wrong that I can't forgive her?

[XTIAN170174]

You actually seem quite resilient and rational. You are naturally affected by the past, because it happened - but not mixed up, just using your experience that happens to have been harrowing & traumatic...

If you wish to make progress, you could perhaps be sure to journal these events presently marring your life - to leave a page between so you can go back through it one month hence and make notes.
Some things will be repetitive - others will impose upon the new heretofore unaffected things - you will realise you cope well with some aspects of it, but it makes way for deeper, darker issues that swamp you.
The aim is to task yourself with including your life throughout - without losing to the flashback - to exclude the combination of the flashback and your negative reaction.