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Will you read this preview of my book I'm writing and follow me on twitter?
10-14-2012, 03:17 PM
Post: #6
Becca White Offline
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I would not read this, your grammar is incorrect, you need to stick with one tense, and you do not use proper punctuation.

Also, the last bit is confusing. I thought the dad was Ethan? But then it said"and ethan called me". Decide on the names. You need to use quotation marks and tell us who is talking. I thought the mom was telling what happened.
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Messages In This Thread
[] - cathrl69 - 10-14-2012, 03:17 PM
[] - luvgal21 - 10-14-2012, 03:17 PM
[] - jl - 10-14-2012, 03:17 PM
[] - Rebecca - 10-14-2012, 03:17 PM
[] - Becca White - 10-14-2012 03:17 PM

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