Anxiety is killing me?

[Charlotte]

I'm so attached to my boyfriend its like im scared he will leave me so I sign into his google account and facebook to see if he cheats on me...he doesn't which is amazing but I hate it when he looks up (guy stuff) on google and he hasn't for a while which is brilliant but when he does I go all grumpy and don't talk to him to give him a hint and he get the hint but still does it on occation. I can't help it and when I see he does stuff like that I have an anxiety attack where I go cold and sweat and I get BAD shakes. I can't help it. I have tried breathing, relaxing etc etc but I can't do it. After a while it goes away but I can't help it. I can't talk to him or he will hateme for creaping on him. And where he is older its like I CANT talk to him about it or he will shout me. Hes 27 im19. he isnt the understanding person he will just go "deal with it" You shouldn't be doing that" etc. I wanna stop because I get jelous that he looks up celebs and videos etc but I can't help it. HELP MEEE