how to get over not having friends?

[Midnight]

I've always been pretty much a loner, but lately I've been wanting to change that, so I made a facebook and attempted to contact/message a couple old friends and they didn't reply (They've been online, too, so basically they just ignored me)... I have this cold-sweat and almost felt like puking. I haven't been social for probably close to a decade & it sucks, because it's too late for me to change that. Ew. This is basically a rant to get it off my chest and to make me feel a bit better I guess. I had anorexia so I left school and was homeschooled so that's why I don't have friends anymore. Plus I kind of cut people out... I mean that was years ago though... I thought a simple, 'oh hey, how've you been?" might have been in store, but I was wrong. People don't want to talk to you if they all ready knew you in a 'past life'. I never told anyone about my eating disorder or mental issues (I was also dealing with PTSD)..so it just really interfered with my life. I'm trying to get back out in the world and be better. I got a job and am supposed to go for an interview for a second job. I am getting things together for college in the fall, too. BUT the friends just aren't coming. I deleted the facebook, because no one was interested in talking to me :/ I don't blame them. I just wish I was a different person. sorry for this rant lol