Ethical vegans: Would you agree to go to a restaurant with people who will buy non-vegan food?

[VeganMom]

If you refuse to go out with them, you might come off as snobby and even preachy. Not only that, but you might be lonely-- Your friends see that you don't want to go out with them, and they cease inviting you.

Also, if you are that high in an ivory tower, why do you even go to restaurants that aren't vegan? Even if you are not getting even a vegetarian meal, you are still supporting a company that supports things with which you do not agree.

I sometimes think the same way you do. However, the key word is THINK. Sometimes my husband (who is not veg*n) and I joke about it and I think he's been eating too much meat again lately, but I don't go on a moral high ground.

You've got to accept that different people have different choices. One of the reasons why my husband is eating too much meat is because we are living with his parents who think that a meal is not a meal unless it has meat in it. (Except on Fridays. My FIL is a member of the Catholic Church and will still only eat fish or no meat on Fridays.) This is their thinking despite having a vegetarian daughter (who eats a lot of animal products and junk "food") and a vegan daughter-in-law (me).

Keep eating and living the way you do (after getting off of your ivory tower) and you might change the way some people think. As I said, my MIL is very much non-veg. However, she likes to cook and bake and likes to make alternatives for me (and my six- and three-year-olds and even slight variations for her daughter). I used to like her conventional lasagna. After going vegan, she was the one who created the alternative-- Whole wheat noodles, soy crumbles (I buy either Boca or Morningstar Farms-- whichever is cheaper), Daiya mozzarella rice milk cheese, and a vegetable pasta sauce. It's still quite delicious. (Its good to the point that I won't even eat until evening becasue I know I'll have two large helpings and will eat the little bit that doesn't fit into the Tupperware and Corning containers for leftovers.) She's making it for dinner tomorrow and I'm defiantly walking before dinner. I'm digressing.

That's another thing-- Have your friends over for dinner and make familiar meals with vegan ingredients. One of my favorite things to do is make my vegan chocolate cake (with chocolate icing, of course) or my banana chocolate chip cookies, banana bread.... and take it to a pot luck or something. (The cake is actually known as "birthday cake" to my six-year-old as she's had it every year for her birthday except for this year. That's because my husband, trying to be considerate, let her get a bakery cake. He thought I wouldn't be up to making a cake as I was suffering a miscarriage. What he didn't realize was that doing a nice annual ritual with my firstborn would have been healing. I digress.)

You don't like it-- don't go out with them. Don't support businesses that support it. Or, you can accept that not everybody is going to be just like you. If everybody was the same, life would be boring.

ETA One: In terms of changing people's eating habits, I have "taught" my in-laws a few things. They often avoid hydrogenated and partially hydrogenated oils, some corn syrup and HFCS, etc. They are overweight from poor choices and have the health problems that go with it. They also ONLY buy whole grains now, and I think I was an example of that.

ETA: Sorry for the length.
Also, in terms of tolerance and acceptance.... It shows maturity and respect for fellow humans. Did you not become vegan because you care and respect ALL creatures? If my husband and I had not respected our food choices after I became vegan, five years into our marriage, we would have gotten divorced over something petty. Had we divorced over that, we would not have been blessed with our two kids. Our daughter is not veg*n, but the product of a mixed marriage. She drinks soy milk, and eats cheese. In one meal, she can have tofu and meat, or even both of my MIL's lasagnas. When she was younger, my husband made a homemade macaroni and cheese-- Whole wheat macaroni, cheese from the local meat market and soy milk. When she was three, we got her Kraft macaroni and cheese off of a restaurant kids menu. She didn't like it. (She did eat her vegetable side.) We were both pleased with that. We limit junk "food" with both kids to the point that it's a treat and they know it.