What does he mean by this?

[James W.]

Men at times are hard to figure out.

It sounds like you might be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them. Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 40, 50, or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!