Depression. Please help??

[Shelby]

I've battled depression for years, but lately it's gotten much worse. It's being triggered by thoughts of my ex, despite the fact that I was the one who ended it and that I don't feel right with him.

Last night on Twitter, one of his friends made a post stating: "I love how all my female friends find *name* attractive", followed by another one of my followers(female) also stating he's cute. Which would be, most likely, to make me jealous.

This destroys me because before me, no one even knew who he was. No one would have ever given him the time of day, especially not a female.

This hurts to the point where I snap and I can't sleep or do anything but want to kill myself to get away from it all. I realize this is irrational, but in the moment nothing seems more desirable.

Please help me deal with this so it doesn't control me - or lead to any permanent results.

I love my ex, but I think the issue is that I'm more in love with the idea of him than I am in love WITH him.

Thanks in advance!