Would you ask an Ex to be your facebook friend?

[Joe M.]

Hello SoAZ Gal:

My answer would be "it depends" on certain factors... Was the breaking of the engagement reasonably amicable? Did you both call it off? Or was he the one to bolt--and are you still carrying a torch for him? You have to ask yourself honestly, what your motivations for wanting to reconnect with your ex-fiance are; and only you can answer that.

Being on Facebook for a few years now, I've found myself in situations like having to decide whether to add someone as a friend, at their request--whom I didn't really like back in high school (because they mistreated me) or wanting to add/get back in touch with a former friend (or flame) who I parted with on ambiguous (at best) terms.

The bottom-line is it's your call. I know many "Exes" who are connected/friends on Facebook.

If I were in your shoes, what I would do first is (if you can find him on Facebook) send him a message--rather than an outright friend request. It's a decent "half-way" point, because if he messages you back, you can start a dialogue. If he doesn't reply to your message, that would be a good barometer on whether you should even send a friend request.

I've done that with former friends whom I wanted to reconnect/reconcile with myself. If they didn't reply, I sometimes sent a second message (after a certain period of time). When they didn't reply after that, I ceased trying to get in touch. On occasion--I was pleasantly surprised when (after a few months) I finally got a response. Anything can happen on Facebook!

Hope this helps, and good luck to you.