Bullied Teens: Sorry, so long. Want to ask & explain?

[SolomV]

MY STORY: I've been hearing alot about bully victims who commit suicide. And it really got me angry, bc i used to be bullied, but one thing i never did was let a blasphemous group of ppl take my self-esteem, my confidence, my life away from me. I went 2 school in Detroit(really bad environment at the time) & I was called sticks in elementary school because i was skinny and the all famous "white girl". and i would let ppl run all over me when I knew i didn't deserve it. 7th grade came around & i started standing up for myself and not letting ppl take me down over something so small, like how i wore my hair, what clothes i wore, and what i activities or music i liked. It's my life. Why should i let bullies tell me how 2 live and what 2 die for? When I got into high school i was bullied by a group of girls from a rough area (detroit/inkster). I was called ugly, b*tch, nasty *ss, annoying--its not like they would tell u what was bothering them. They would become so hateful to the point where they would want to falsely accuse u of talking about them so they could beat u. I would also get slick backhanded comments from the rich/popular girls. I noticed that rich,well off bullies from nice areas are less intimidating and their bullying is easier to handle than bullies from the ghetto. Anyways, in my junior year, I was beaten by a girl whose friends told her i was talking about her behind her back. I tried to defend myself, and she ended up being suprised that i stood up to her. They ended up recording the fight 2 show other ppl, but everyone deleted when the police got involved. After the fight, i didn't feel weaker, but stronger bc I wasn't going 2 let her intimidate me and lower my self-esteem thru violence and threats. Whenever someone put a horrible letter in my locker, i just ripped it up and threw it in the trash immediately or read the letter and wrote the opposite of what was said. I changed b*tch 2 brilliant, ugly 2 beautiful, nobody likes u 2 there r ppl who appreciate u, and the kill urself 2 keep living and be successful and hung it up in my locker so i could read aloud the positive every morning when i first got to school.


Sorry that was long but now i have ?s:

1) Why would someone kill themselves for a bunch of ppl who aren't family or someone who isn't close to them? Future, family, better times r waiting. Even if school life is hell right now. u don't live 4 them! u live 4 u. They can keep their baggage and them stay unhappy and rude. after all, they choose to spend their life that way.

2) I know why ppl cut themselves to release pain and feel better. But why would this person take everything out on him/herself? They definitely don't deserve those marks. Some ppl don't want to cut themselves. They want to heal. not cut again.

3) When people say "don't bully bc ppl commit suicide bc of u" it sounds like their saying our fate, whether we live or die, whether we r happy or not, is up to the person abusing us. Why on earth should a bully become responsible 4 another's happiness and life? only they r in charge of that!

4) When u r called ugly or fat, r those same ppl who call u those names and treated u so bad better looking in appearance? There are so many combinations of appearances that it seems really rare to see an extremely ugly person or a drop-dead gorgeous person with a model's body. on top of that, ppl have different perceptions of what's beautiful and ugly.

5) What are some good things u would do to raise ur confidence? Listen to relaxing music, yoga, dance, jog, write a nice letter to urself? My favorite moments are when i come home and turn on my candle lamp and drink tea while listening to joyce meyer (not religious though). Then before i go to bed, even if they're not true YET, i say aloud 10 good things about myself.
@jl i'm not blaming the victim. i saying that victims shouldn't have to take what ppl throw at them. and yes, some ppl don't come from stable homes. But for both the ppl who don't come from good homes & for the ppl who do, they don't have to believe what ppl say to them. Just because they say horrible things a thousand times, doesn't mean we should make those words become our own.