I feel like a horrible person and wonder should I send him his birthday present and an apology.?

[Bubbly but]

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I ruined my friendship I'm thinking about suicide?
I'm 18 and a girl

I had been going to my first high school stoner party ( I'm out of highschool but my friend/ ex wasn't)

Well there was alchohol and pot, and I smoked a bit and drank nearly a whole thing of vodka And ended up blacking out. I woke up covered in vomit and to him telling me it's over.

Evidently I supposedly flirted with his friend and bitched at him and evidently ruined the whole night for him. They dumped me on a mountain and wouldn't take me to get my phone to get a ride and I ended up having having to walk to an unfamiliar house in the rain.

All because I needed a ride home and they were gonna take to some other party.

He dumped me off at places, his friend tried to take advantage of me.

Also I had to wake up these poor older people he left me with and I told them I'm sorry and they said they understood. I was really nice to all the adults and everyone but him when he started griping.


The next day I griped at him he texted me I'm nothing but a whore and wasted his time etc. I was rude and ruined anything and he was like my best friend.

And I've never been so hurt or treated so cruelly ( I isually drink with older friends though)

My hearts broke because he acted like he really cared for a long time, I think I just embarrassed him cause he deleted his Facebook etc. but the thing is is that even though I was drunk no one should ever be that horrible to another human, nothing I could have done could've bed. That bad enough for him to completely cuss me out and delete me from his life.

I didn't have sex or kiss or do anything.

Is he just a stupid 16 year old kid or am I bad?

He said he believes his friends over me, and that he never wants to see me again. I just hate myself for getting so drunk and I don't know what I did I know for a fact I didn't slut around though. I know apologized so much but I ****** up everything I hate my life I want to die.


I said horrible stuff to him the next day and I was so hungover and confused by what I remember I hate myself I'm evil. There's nothing I can do to make it up, I made a whole group of people hate me?

I drink seldom but this has never happened blacking out before.


I said right down vile evil horrible things the next day too.


I bought him a birthday gift prior and I'm thinking about writing a letter of apology to make myself feel at ease though I know I can never recover our friendship