How can I see who goes on my facebook profile?

[Rat]

Ok, so I wanna know who goes on my facebook profile, are there any programs I can download or something? Also I don't want some dodgy thing, that stalks my profile, or records my password, but I just want to know who goes on my profile. I don't really care how as long as it isn't what I just mentioned.

Cheers guys.
Also, does that mean that they cannot see if I go on their profile?
I'm not a stalker or anthing, I'm just interested. Mainly for punking my friends.
ha ha, I mean because if there is a program, my friend would have it. He is obsessed with Facebook, and i don't want to ask him (he would probably give me a dodgy site instead) and I had the idea to make lots of fake accounts, and keep going on his profile. He checks it every day, so he would see a bunch of randoms going on his profile...I know it's pretty lame, but It's school holidays, so the only things I really have to do is blowing stuff up, and going on facebook...