I have nothing to live for.?

[Joseph]

I am 16 ,17 almost. I am a guy. I am aloner , not a loner , meaning I am truly alone... I feel there is nothing to leave for. I was talking with a girl at Facebook earlier about how this was 13's last Sunday . I said I was glad 13 was over ... It was terrible , she knew I was often depressed . She insisted on knowing why... I bursted into tears . 13 was the worst year of my life . I have no friends to care bout me, at my bday nobody told me happy bday . My father thought it was the next day , my siblings didn't even remember. Nobody told me irl or Facebook . I never had any true friends only some douches that were abusing me, grabbing my moobs... I never get to fit in. I am different but is this the price?! Depression? Lack of social validation? Being alone for ever?! I never had a gf ... Nothing always alone . This is what I have to pay for disliking gossip ?! Not being a dick to people? Not answering back?
I never had a birthday party bc my house was too far. Always an outcast ! Is this what I have to pay for being smarter?! I have 164 iq. I have played the strong guy and the I don't care about people's opinions but enough, I can't stand it anymore I wanna leave this place once and for all. I am not the tiniest bit attractive I am like -9000 on scale 1-10...
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