How to know if he is disturbed with my thoughts?

[Jabba]

Dear dear. You do not say how old/young you are. Age can be very important in strong feelings. There's a lot going on here. It seems to me that you are a young person relying heavily on a professional older person who is not your relation. You have become strongly attracted to this person and have relied on him more and more, and perhaps, more. I'm supposing he is some number of years your senior. That you sought him out. That, though he has consoled you many, many times, you still have not found a healing for your past sorrows. He has family? He has friends? He has professional associates? He has professional obligations? Maybe he also has some casual or committed family or romantic relationships?
It sounds to me as though you have been consuming a lot of his time and a great deal of his emotional energy. You may be obsessed with him. This is not healthy for you, nor is it healthy for him--no matter the nature of your real world relationship. If he has to earn a living, he may simply need a long breather from the weight of the emotions you have so long been dealing with and never resolved. These, he can not fix for you. You relief is temporary. You, alone, or with a professional councillor, must resolve these issues. A person is a complete entity--not made whole by depending and relying on another. You must find your own stability. If you love him, let him be for a time--maybe as long as several months. Try to find your own strength. Try to find in yourself the strength to help someone else. Put your sad thoughts away. And think of some other thing you CAN do that has a simple solution. Does an older neighbor need help with their shopping, cleaning or cooking? Does a family member need your help? Your heart is as a bird in a cage. Help some one else, and you may find your own wings.