I think I may have Bipolar Disorder or BPD?

[Autumn]

Hi Audrey. You say that your symptoms began 2-3 years ago, when you were 11 or 12. This sweetie was when you started going through puberty and your adolescence began.

Before the internet and easy access to child and adolescent mental health services [CAMHS] dramatic teenage mood swings, wanting to die and experimenting with drugs and alcohol was all perfectly normal not a mental health problem.

There is no need for normal psychological and behavioural patterns of adolescence to be treated by experts as it's an essential part of your character development. Almost overnight you go from being a sweet little girl who loves her mummy and daddy to raging with hormones and being furious with the world and stuck with parents who don't understand you. You don't understand you.

You suddenly get a body that boys are interested in and boys are no longer disgusting but attractive. You go to sleep and wake up with breasts or hips or stretch marks or acne while at the same time you're meant to be up to date on fashion, gossip, music and who is seeing whom. What idiot puts exams in the middle of all this hell?

I never, ever want to experience adolescence again. It's like you're meant to act responsibly like an adult, you develop the body of an adult but emotionally you're more confused and in need of help than ever. Before this began you had no worries except homework and negotiating your bedtime. Ever feel the need to scream, punch a wall or secretly wish you could ask your mum for a cuddle?

Your parents do want to help but you've got to explain how you feel and ask for that 'cuddle'. They don't know how to approach you as everything they do is wrong and vice versa. Leave them a note as you leave for school explaining to them that being a teenager is a lot tougher than you expected and you're not coping with it very well by yourself. Invite them back into your life.

You can also confide in a teacher you like as well a school counsellor, if you have one. No-one will freak out or tell anyone what you say as they have been teenagers themselves and watch hundreds go through it every year.

The key to fighting emotional problems is to have a good support network that has your back. Friends are there for you but letting some adults into your life so that you can see them and just say it's one of those weeks and have a good cry really does help.

I had one teacher, amongst a few, who was a great support to me. She did simple things such as a smile in the corridor or calling me by pet names in private as well as listening to my problems, she helped me survive adolescence, bullying and abuse at home without even knowing about most of it. She cared.

Please don't read up on any other mental illnesses and try and self diagnose. You've seen a therapist and was discharged and you can't hide disorders such as bipolar or BPD. You wouldn't need to tell your parents that you had either mental illness they would already know.

It doesn't sound that reassuring but you are going through the worst of it and things will improve from now on. Try not to shut yourself away with your thoughts and avoid tumblr, flickr and similar social networking sites if possible. Facebook alone has been proven to lower people's mood and cause depression. There is a lot of self diagnosis and pictures of people cutting themselves on sites aimed at young people. It will only make you feel worse.

Exercise is proven to help you feel more relaxed and happy. Your body is pumping out the hormone adrenaline which causes rage, anger, anxiety, agitation and gives you energy excessive which combined with other hormones can make you feel 'manic'. Endorphins produced from exercising will make you feel much happier, relaxed, calm and sleep like a baby. Anything that gets your heart rate up such as dancing or riding a bike will do it.

If your family doesn't eat together suggest dinner or a takeaway together once a week or cook yourself and surprise everyone. Help your family start being a family that supports each other. Your parents haven't suddenly grown horns!

Best wishes sweetheart, A x [a former teenager and recent foster parent of one]