does anyone understand me?

[Ariana]

I am a 17 year old senior in high school at the moment. I currently have my license and have had it for 5 months. I live in a restricted household in which I feel trapped and kept like an animal. Ever since I became a junior, my dream was to drive. I wanted to be just like the rest of my friends and drive to school and go places, and feel freedom. I'm not spoiled. You have to understand that as a teenager, becoming an independent driver is one of few huge milestones. I practiced constantly with my permit (with mom or dad), even through all of their yelling and emotional attacks they gave me. I eventually got my license. I never asked for a car, or even a used car; just simply insurance. I was 16 at the time, and no place in my area hires highschoolers. They say they hire from 16 and up, but most hire only college students. I understand that car insurance is very expensive for teenagers, but I have gotten straight As since freshmen year. These are not empty words. I have taken 11 APs throughout my highschool career, 790 Math 2 SAT 2 score and 780 Biology SAT 2 score with a 2230 SAT 1 score. I'm a good student. Anyways, everyday, my closest friends and thanks to the delight of social media, talk and brag about their freedom and how they go to wonderful and eccentric places due to having their hands behind a wheel. Some lie to their parents and drive their friends around everywhere. I wouldn't abuse this privilege. Every time I mention car insurance to my Mother, she immediately tenses up and yells at me. My father immediately says no. I don't know why, but driving isn't one of those false trinkets that just wear away with time. For example, driving isn't like a handbag tht you really really want. The desire for the handbag stops pretty quickly and you get over it just as quickly. This ISNT like that.

I'm not asking for advice on how to ask my parents for car insurance or anything (by the way I suggested getting myself a job but as I said no one would hire me AND my parents said i cant have car insurance even if I paid for it myself.) by thew ay, college applications are due in a little less than two weeks and I can't concentrate because of the sadness this brings me. It seems as if every other teenager struggles with asking their parents for an old or even new car.... but they are all able to drive because their parents either give in to their child's demands OR they simply put them on their vehicle's car insurance..


Has anyone ever felt so utterly hopeless yet so stupidly hopeful about something you've wanted so bad? Any advice on how to cope?