ONE NIGHT STAND. IM UPSET AND NEED ADVICE. PLEASE READ ALL!?

[Belovedcarpenter381]

suzie, 18, turning 19. virgin. there are these 2 guys i was interested in. one Josh and the other Spencer. Spencer I have had a thing for for a very long time, Josh not so much. I have liked Spencer since highschool, so just have had feelings for him and he knew that. I moved cities maybe 6 months ago for school and Spencer and Josh moved to, same city. Along with other roommates from the same city,we all knew eachother. Me and Josh hung out one night, he i didnt really have feelings for, he was just ok looking and as asshole, which for some reason all women love. Anyways that night, me and josh were drinking, having fun, I ended up getting really drunk and crying over another guy I have had a thing for for about a year, one of his friends who I dont even talk to. That night me and Josh ended uo hooking up, long story short we slept together, naked yes, but didnt have sex, ill let your mind do the rest. Then about a week later he moved back home, deleted me off facebook and twitter and told everyone i was crazy for crying over someone i didnt know. A week later which was a couple of days ago to be exact, me and Spencer hung out along with 2 of his other roommates. We went to a party and randomly at the end of the night one roommate got in a cab home, the other disappearred and Spencer ended up coming to my place. We were drinking yes, but we hooked up, more then me and Josh. I have had a thing for Spencer for a long time and was happy we hooked up but sad that to think it was all a set up. We didnt have sex. He was so sweet the entire night, talking to me about personal stuff, during forplay, he did everything, i didnt do anything, so, yeah. after everything he stayed for a while after and didnt leave. he passed me my clothes and kissed me goodnight. this guy, i have wanted for so long. he did mention not to tell Josh, because they were roommates blah blah and he would get mad, when really all i think is that Spencer thinks he was doing me a favour, im an easy lay, im a slutty girl who is easy as hell and he is embarassed of me. he kept telling me i had a nice body, but whatever. the next night i hung out with one of his roommates, he kept bringing up things that me and Spencer talked aobut and me and Josh talked about, like gestures, not actually mentioning anything but just enough to let me know he knew the entire story. I feel like they all think i am crazy that I cried over someone i didnt know. anyways the next night me and another roommate hung out, watched a movie at his place. Spencer was there, it was 5am , 6 at this point. a girls shoes were there also, i didnt ask about them. Spencer told me next time i was over to wake him up, i was thinking of waking him up but didnt. The next day after I left, the one roommate mentioned to me randomly, like going out of his way that he did have a girl over and it wasnt his other roommate. i wanted spencer so bad but it seems like i am a joke to to that entire house. like they all think they can hook up with me. i didnt think i was that kind of person, and am regretting everything. i didnt loose my virginity which is good but i dont know what to think, how to react, should i still talk to them? what do you think. i need actual advice please i cried a but aboutit today.