How did you feel at the age of 16-17?

[lidia]

I am 16. Every day I feel that my sensation of the world is changing. I see now that most of my friends are fake. When I was 13 I smiled every day and felt happy, had a lot of friends and never thought about problems with communication. But when I was 14 my father died. A year later my grandfather did too. I loved them very much.
Now when I look at my friends I see that they don't know anything about this life. They haven't seen death. Their interests are sex, drinking and smoking. I just can't smile and laugh like in the past. I like reading, but when I tell somebody about a book, they don't listen. I study a lot, but they just tell me that they haven't done homework cause of party or whatever and I am "uncool". I feel that society around me degrades...
And how did you feel at that age?