How do you get a social life?

[Jared]

Your introduction would seem to claim that you are anti-social, so at least this isn't a cry for attention.

Also, it does come across as negative, seeing that you're judging before even letting anybody speak. The fact that you know what a troll is or that you know people spend time on Yahoo! Answers to get free points tells me that you spend a lot of time on the internet. I would only know this because I too, spend a lot of time on the internet.

The few people who actually gave a damn and took the time to read through your story and give you an answer should be appreciated. Keep that in mind.

I lived in a small town as well. In fact, I still do. Everybody sucks here, too. It's not just you. The only person who I'm friends with here is someone who is slow in the head, but is courteous enough not to act like an idiot around me or in public.

Take it from me. Learn to enjoy being around yourself by yourself. If you cannot enjoy yourself and rely on others to entertain you, your life is going to spiral down into the world of chaos. If you can't enjoy yourself, how are others going to enjoy you?

Find people worth getting to know, like someone who is kind to people or someone who makes you laugh. Look for traits in people that will suit your preferences.

Want to get to know people better without coming off as weird or annoying? Start with "Hello." I don't know exactly why, but "Hello" actually tells the brain to "Come over here and we'll converse about whatever." Ask people questions. People love to talk about themselves, and you know you've found a good friend or possible relationship when they start asking you questions as well. Don't tell people your life story like you've done here, just keep it short and simple. The less you talk, the better results you'll get. Giving gifts to people you like never hurts either. Even if it's just a stick of gum. Gum is very popular in high school.

Want to make friends you can call and hang out with? After conversing with someone and you're convinced that this person would make a good "potential" friend. Get your cell phone out and go to the contacts list. Then make an empty contact and hand them your phone saying "Here's my phone..." and once they look at the empty contact entry, they will know it's their queue to enter in their information. Not only will you get their name spelled correctly, but you get a friend as well. I've tested this theory and I've gotten friends and even gone out on dates with this technique.

Never go up and talk to girls while they're in groups. Pretend to be a stalker for a moment and seek them out when they're alone. Going up in groups, you better have a suit on or pull up in a fancy car or you're going to get the look of death. Also, never try to talk to a girl when she's busy.

Initiate a conversation when she's:
- Lounging around somewhere
- At the mall
- At a club
- In the grocery store
- At a party

Never start a conversation when she's:
- In a hurry
- Working
- With her friends

Most girls are shy, and they want a man to come up and show interest. Why in the hell would I do that? Just so she gets to decide whether to reject me or not? Screw that. If the girl wants to be with you bad enough, she will come up and talk to you, or at least stare at you like Michael Jackson would stare at a five year old.

I won't talk about Facebook. Screw Facebook it's a fake form of socializing. Delete your account. It takes a week and you'll have to Google the answer to find out how to delete it because it's not so easy.

Last notes, keep yourself groomed. Get some good shoes, wear jeans or slacks and a dress shirt everywhere you go. Buy "Obsession for Men" cologne. Girls love it. My current girlfriend of 1 1/2 years now goes into her room and smells her hair when I wear it. And she has asthma so it doesn't bother their noses at all.

You're welcome. Tweak your attitude and you'll do just fine. From one anti-social person to another, take care.