I am depressed because my boyfriend looks at pornography?

[SC]

Poor boyfriend... There is no way in the world any other person can give you what you so strongly refuse to give yourself, out of pure self-hate. Because no matter what anyone does, no matter how much of themselves they sacrifice for your greed of forced love, it will all be in vain if you don't stop self-hating. It's like pouring water in a bucket with a hole at the bottom. No matter how much gets filled in, it will quickly be empty again. As long as you don't change your self-image, as long as you'll keep being convinced that there is nothing worth getting loved in your person, as long as you self-hate you'll keep looking for "proves" that everyone who seems to like you must be lying, since you consider it just not possible that anyone could really like you.

Would YOU be able to keep loving a man who constantly doubts your love, just because he hates himself and can't believe it? No matter what you do? And he even hurts himself unnecessarily in order to force your sympathie?? Over years, and decades, and all the love you give him would be in vain? There's really nothing more destructive to a relationship and love as someone without any self-worth, clinging like crazy and trying to suck his life energy out of someone else.

But there's hope. Here's a little exercise, if you have enough imagination:
Imagine you suddenly meet your long lost twin sister, from which you were separated at birth. She grew up in another country, the two of you didn't know of each other, and she's having the same problems as you. She's very unhappy.
Now when you look at your twin sister, do you really toss all your hate on her, kick her and tell her what a loser she is, as you tell yourself all the time??
Or is there any chance you could like her a little bit? If yes, WHAT would you like about her? Could you be friends? What would you tell her to do?