Why are feminist women not feminine? Why is being feminine considered as something done to 'please' men?

[Riley]

Well, first of all, gender is a social construct. Anatomical sex is biological, but gender (the meaning and expression we attach to our anatomy) js socially constructed. Women are not "naturally"feminine anymore than men are "naturally" rough. We have been socialized into gender roles and taught by our culture, families, schools, media, etc what is "feminine" or "masculine". The fact js that there is actually very little biological difference between sexes. Gender is a performance.

Second of all, you can't really lump all feminists into one category.

Third, you expressing yourself as feminine doesn't make you oppressed. Agreed. Here's the thing though, all your ideas about what is feminine or not is learned and socialized into you since you are first born, and that's where gender inequality begins. It's not that being feminine is a bad thing, I'm very feminine too, it's just about having the awareness to realize that all your ideas about femininity and what makes a woman a woman, and that drive to be feminine, are ingrained in us since birth.

Most feminist theory does not exactly believe that women are feminine just to please men. Women are "feminine" bc we are trained to be, we are shown that that is what a girl is suppose to be like. There is a theory of emphasized femininity which is the compliance of women to gender inequality, emphasizing socially constructed and cultural ideas of femininity, and usually this is done to appeal to men, For example, when my friends and i go out to a bar and we put on our make-up, a low cut shirt, etc. We might convince ourselves we are dressing up this way, emphasizing our femininity, for ourselves but the reality is that we are subconsciously doing so to appeal to the male gaze. I wear make-up, very feminine clothing, etc because it's what makes me feel good about myself but I'm not blind to the fact that the reason it makes me feel good about myself, and more confident, is bc I'm appealing to societal and cultural 'feminine' standards, I look good to the rest of society, so therefore I feel good about myself and more confident.

Its 5am and I haven't slept yet, so I hope my ramble made at least a little bit of sense. lol