I feel ugly and bad about myself. What should I do?

[Lara ♥]

I just feel ugly, dark skinned and unattractive,

I'm i18...I feel lonely. I haven't been in school since last June. I'm most likely going to college in a few weeks, the latest in the summer...I have absolutely no real friends...just old acquaintances from high school.

I'm surprised I even get likes on my pictures on instagram...I hardly even talked to people in high school.

There was this really cool girl who tried becoming my friend since 10th grade through 12th...but I had the worst self esteem, I didn't feel "good enough" to be her friend because she was SO gorgeous. I put her on a pedestal, saw myself as an ugly loser who wasnt pretty enough to be her friend, I'd always avoid her and ignore her even the more than anything I really wanted to be her friend but I just couldn't talk to her or act normal around her because she intimidated me, I was pretty jealous of her too. I feel so bad. I hate how stupid I acted...now we hardly talk anymore. We never really talked much because I was so awkward but we still talked and texted a bit, she was extremely nice to me, then eventually started being distant...I haven't talked to her since like september...

I have her on instagram and facebook but we don't talk at all. Her birthday is coming up at the end of this month, I want to tell her something, but would that be weird since we haven't talked in awhile?

I just feel dumb...