Please help! How can I except the truth?

[Khnopff71]

The concept of imaginary friends is hardly uncommon. Many kids have imaginary playmates and confidants with whom they both share and develop their interdependent relationship skills. And while it is less uncommon as people age, imaginary friends (in whatever form they appear) are likely to show up in any sort of situation where there is no other real outlet for friendship. Despite what Twitter and MySpace say, making 'friends' is alot harder than simply hitting the Accept button. Friendship, at its core, validates the two people who enter into that sort of relationship. If no one around fulfills that function, then the person can turn to imaginary or fictional sources. Tom Hanks' character in Cast Away is an exceptional example of this.

What you need to understand about your relationship with this girl is two things: 1 is that it gives you what you need at this point in your life because you can't find it anywhere else and 2 is that trying to give it up now will only make you worse in the long run. Nothing says you can't hold onto this person as long as you need them. You need to realize that part of the reason you identify so strongly with this person is that no one else in your physical reality gives you what she does. This isn't a situation where you have lots of real, close friends at school but are choosing to be enraptured by this character. For whatever reason, she validates you. If for no other reason, when you need someone, she is there. Being there when we need them is a prime consideration for most friendships. Other people might exist but she, in that story, does exist and you know where she's at. When you feel bad, you know how to find her. All of that is important both for yourself and what that says about what kind of person you are.

We are what we like. We all define ourselves by what makes us feel. I like broccoli, I like long walks on the beach, I like sitting at home listening to Mozart, all means of us understanding who we are. This story, this character, is a part of you now. Giving that up would be like giving away all your favorite cds/mp3s and starting over, pretending you don't like that stuff anymore. So, turning to the person, fictional or not, who validates you is actually you standing up for yourself. So stand up for yourself, hold onto the things you like. Furthermore, use it as a means to help you decide what kind of real friend you do want in your life. A real friend wouldn't try to make you give up anything or anyone you love. I have a Doors test for friendship/relationship, why can't you have have this person for yours?

Don't try to be someone you aren't. Right now, you need her so hold onto her.