Ideas for next paragraph/chapter? Thanks!?

[Nekobus]

Big word of advice is never to start a story with a character waking up. It's been done a million times, not only waking up but not knowing where he or she is. I think it would be a good idea to think of another hook where something more unique happens. The idea is very good, so I think if you start it another way and keep it more linear, what happens next will come to you organically.

Right now it jumps from her with the man to her with Kelsey too quickly, then back again. As a reader, I'm more curious about the scenario with Kelsey talking to the man and then not wanting to tell the main character about him. That could be a chapter in itself and you might even find your hook there. Then it could flow a little more into how she winds up with this creepy guy.

Just my thoughts as I read through it, anyway. I like the idea behind it so I'd just recommend starting with something more unusual and then staying in-the-moment, possibly exploring her friendship with Kelsey a little more. If you really want her to wake up not knowing where she is, a bit of set up beforehand could really give it a boost.

Hope that's helpful, keep writing and developing your characters and you'll get there! Lots of luck.