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What's wrong about my writing?
04-02-2014, 05:51 PM
Post: #9
 
Uhm, use more descriptions, like,
*A darkly hooded creeper, with wispy white hair dangling just beneath the shadows of his/her hood, stood beneath a flickering streetlight. His beady eyes froze, then he gasped painfully and fell sideways, his body crumpling to a ball when he hit the sidewalk. Crickets chirped timidly, their twitters changing tempo every second, and silence echoed around the neighborhood, oblivious to the crickets attempts at peaceful noise. A teen-aged girl, dressed in tight black clothes and a bejeweled belt, jerked her sword towards herself in a fluid motion, sheathing it with a harsh SNAP!* <----That makes it better :o)
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Messages In This Thread
What's wrong about my writing? - lawlman91 - 04-02-2014, 04:52 PM
[] - Anthony - 04-02-2014, 05:00 PM
[] - mary - 04-02-2014, 05:08 PM
[] - Jesere - 04-02-2014, 05:16 PM
[] - Leslieeeâ„¢ - 04-02-2014, 05:20 PM
[] - emmies~ - 04-02-2014, 05:25 PM
[] - ♥Pisces♥ - 04-02-2014, 05:31 PM
[] - Muse - 04-02-2014, 05:46 PM
[] - Rose Gemini - 04-02-2014 05:51 PM
[] - agilebrit - 04-02-2014, 06:00 PM
[] - Dwolf - 04-02-2014, 06:02 PM

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