My husband refuses to separate himself from his parents and siblings. Should I divorce him?

[Princess Leia]

This is always a stressful case because the in-laws are somewhat strangers, yet family at the same time. So, you've got a type of distant respect but also an expectation of understanding and cooperation.

If your husband is not willing to stand up to his parents - you have two choices:
1. You tell his parents like it is, and risk them knowing the "secret" life of their son not wanting to see them all the time. You risk your husband getting upset because he couldn't do it - and secretly didn't want to do it. Yet (I BET) at the same time would be relieved that you did so he didn't have to deal with it.
2. You give your husband an ultimatum and remind him that if he finds another relationship - he's going to run into the same issues. He's got his priorities in the wrong order, and if he refuses to pay attention to his own family - and still cling to his mom and dad, he's going to have a failure after failure after failure of relationships. Eventually the ultimatum might turn into an actual divorce.

I also seem to get the impression that you knew a lot of this background of his life before you got married, that he would never take the lead and move to you...that he would stand by his parents and support their business, that he came from a small town where gossiping is the "deal," to fit in. I feel like there were a lot of known issues beforehand that weren't a problem because you were twitter-pated, but now - there's a rift of change for you.

It's not your place to ask your husband to change, if he never had any incentive before you got married to do so. He never left his home or his family for you. You did for him. You've given him the option that only YOU will change for him, and not the other way around.

So, it's really an open option for you to chose what you want to do since he's never done anything "life changing" for you and you can expect he never will.