I miss him so much. He is the only thing holding me back from suicide anymore. what can I do when he is gone.?

[Sky]

Im 15 and my bf is 15, weve been dating for four months now. He lives in ireland and me the east coast of usa. Well were both emo and im very insecure and anti social. Being with him helps my depression and the cutting and the suicidal thoughts. He is my everything. He is my best friend but also the guy I love the most. So recently he got grounded and all we talk on is kik so he got his phone taken away. We couldnt talk for two weeks because im not allowed to have facebook or anything like that because of my mom. When he was gone depression hit hard again and things were back to pain. I missed him so much since we talked as much as we possibly could when he wasnt busy. Well when he came back we had two days and we had a great time and spend so much time together. Then he was back to being grounded ig . I made a fake fb to talk to him he was on saturday but he hasnt answerd me. My depression and thoughd are getting bad again im being torn apart waiting for him. What can I do? Pleze help