Finding it hard to get back on life?

[Feather]

I have to go back to school this year after three years of stopping, and I have no problem with the work I have to do to graduate, it's the judgement by the people there that know me, the professor, the staffs, etc. I can't stand the idea I'd be stared at or judged and the thought is hurting, sometimes I think what if this is my judgement of myself and I'm subconsciously anticipating for it to happen, by inviting it in with my reaction, and I'm sure there will be wondering as to why I'm still there.

I'm scared of the judgement and of seeing my professor again and he'd just make me feel bad for not graduating earlier or handling my problems better,I'm also afraid he'd just embarrass me in class. I'm aware how I handled my self before was because of my low self esteem, I wasn't a rebellious kid, or atleast I don't think I was, but since my first delay I kind of almost asume I'd just mess this one subject again. Basically I think it was the self defeating talk that got to me. I only got to see that clearly when I got to rest. Exhaustion was my only feelings for school 3 years ago, I felt so tired that It didn't matter if I miss another year of school.

All my friends have graduated, and one graduating this year. I've been alone most of the time, I've isolated myself, and that's because of the same feeling of judgement I' might receive from others. I'm not even meeting up with them, and I've disappeared from social media, but haven't deactivated to not seem like there's something wrong, only posting on occasions and few posts inside groups.

I don't know how to act, I don't know how to make things right again, I'm afraid of making another wrong move, and I feel so left out.
3 years, that's not continuous, I've got delayed earlier then continued then got delayed another two years, so in total it's been 3 years.