How do I keep from losing my man to his pregnant ex?

[Jo]

Are you serious?

Been together two weeks and you think you have a relationship? Doesn't matter how long you have "loved" him. Totally irrelevant. And after 2 weeks - one would hope you don't have any kids together. How is that relevant?

Again, are you serious?

No, you don't confront her. That's not your place. It's also not your place to call her a "no-good" ex. On what do you base that on? What would you confront her about - this guy isn't married to you. Actually doesn't owe you anything regarding safe guarding this 2 week relationship.

He was with her for 2 years and is expecting a child. So you think your 2-week relationship takes precedence over that? You best think again.

Sounds to me like if he is going to visit her, sends her emails with love thoughts, is acting like he is not over her - then he is not over her.

And you want to go with to watch to be sure he isn't going to try to work on the relationship. Good luck with that. If everything is so "perfect" - why do you not trust him? If you think everything between you and him is going to work - why do you feel the need to babysit him?

Why won't she go away? Apparently she did - at least physically. And because there is going to be a child between them - she never will totally.

Why is he sending her these messages? Because he is NOT over her. Because he still loves her. Maybe he is trying to get used to not having her but he isn't there yet.

Why hasn't he told you he loves you? Because he doesn't. At least not yet - if ever. Because he is still dealing with this other relationship. You may have loved him for all these years but that doesn't mean he loved you then or now. I note you say YOU fell in love - not WE fell in love.


After only 2 weeks - you don't have much leverage here. In fact - what you have is a guy just coming off a break up, expecting another child and is in emotional turmoil and does not know yet what he wants. It takes time to heal from these things and get one's life back together. Dating you for 2 weeks doesn't do it. And a 2 week relationship gives you nothing to try to ensure he isn't going back with her - if that's what he may be inclined to do.

If you are even thinking he may try to work on his relationship with her - then you best think twice about your relationship with him. You can't "make" him feel any way but how he feels. If he feels he wants to be with her and the child - there isn't a thing in the world you can do about it.

And after 2 weeks - he isn't likely feeling as much attachment to you as you may hope and want. And being over-bearing, confrontational, distrusting and a watch-every-move type isn't going to get you what you want either.

Maybe this isn't what you wanted to hear - but it is the way it is.