How to ask him if he's gay...?

[JD]

I'm inclined to say that you should handle this as adults would. Simply bring up a conversation about relationships. Ask "So what qualities attract you to someone?" or something like that to get the conversation going, and then maybe bounce "Have you ever had feelings for a guy?" off the wall and see how that goes. Again... That's what I'd say to an adult. A teen in high school though....

First off. You have to realize that you're pursuing a GUY. For what purpose? To date him? To play around with him and experiment? You have to think about WHY you're doing this and what you want to come from this. If it's a relationship, you have to understand that it's VERY possible that someone will find out about you two and word will get out about your sexuality. You need to be ready for that if it happens.

You also need to really trust him. If you're going to take a step closer to him for any reason at all, it will need to involve letting him in on your sexuality. You need to either feel very secure with him and trust he will keep your secret, or you need to be ready for the possibility of him saying something to someone. You can't count on him being ready to come out, and someone in his position may become defensive when one of their peers (you) even hints that he may be gay, or tells him that they're gay.

just understand the risk, and be careful. It's important that you come out when you're ready, and that you avoid situations that might "out" you before you are. That being said... What I would recommend a high schooler do... Is to continue hinting at things. Do little things that hint that you like him, or compliment him. Once you feel you've sent him enough signs, and that he SHOULD have an idea that you're gay... Take the next step. Directly mention your attraction to him. Or ask him something that brings the subject up. Maybe: "Can I ask you something? *sure* Does it make you uncomfortable at all when I compliment you like I do?". If he says no, GREAT! If he says "What do you mean?", explain that you kinda find him attractive/cute/whatever, and you just want to make sure you're not scaring him.

Should be easy for you to gauge the situation and take things from there.

Just suggestions. Good luck!