How to post a website online for free?

[.]

Go on the internet and create a web page. Then get you nerdy wife/girlfriend to slide her hand up the back of your shirt with a thing called a match. Get her to light the match and hold it againt your back, also setting your shirt on fire. She will then light the rest of the matches and the boxand drop them in your underwear to burn your shlong. You will then get an erection (a burnt one) and you will put it on the hob (which is preset to 200°C) and push it down until its cooked. Your wife and kids can then break it off and eat it for lunch the following day.
Have fun.
I did this and it was actually quite pleasurable and still feels good today.
Enjoy.