Should my mom have the right to access my facebook messages and diary?

[L Smile,]

My mom and I are struggling with issues on privacy, and it would mean a lot to me if an unbiased person on this site could give me feedback on what they think is right after reading my story.

I'm a relatively independent 16 year old who has a 4.0 GPA, participates in several extracurriculars, and is top 10 in class rank at a prestigious high school. I tutor for money, and I even pay for my own braces. I never associate with the wrong crowd, yet my mom asserts that she has the right to my facebook password and to invade my privacy at any time.

I understand that my mom wants to make sure I'm safe and on the right path to adulthood, but I have a strong sense of priority as I have already proven to her with my grades and independence. A few months ago, a boy on my swim team and I developed mutual interest in each other and my mom read my facebook messages and forced me to quit the swim team. Although there were other factors involved in this situation, my mom still will not allow me to talk to him anymore. I already tell her everything that goes on in my life and I'm doing well so I don't know why she feels accessing my facebook is necessary.

Yesterday, she flipped through my diary. Irritated and upset, I told her she had no right to do that. Her response? "You put it under your pillow and I found out. That's YOUR PROBLEM". i feel like my mom doesn't understand that privacy is an intuitively MORAL expectation a teenager should have from their mothers. This isn't the first time this happened either. This time around, I wrote some mean words about my mom in the diary, including calling her a b***. She's very upset and told me she would never get involved in my affairs from now on, which also means she'll never help me with anything again either. I know I messed up and I will apologize to her about my mean language, and I'm aware mothers have it hard too and she does a lot for me. But in truth, I feel like she should also apologize about failing to practice self control by reading my diary again after a similar thing happened and I told her how upset I was. Now I'm scared she'll tell my dad and my dad will beat me for being disrespectful (Filial piety holds extreme importance in Chinese culture).

Do you think my mom is doing the right thing, or that it is only my fault? Because my mom genuinely thinks everything is my fault and I'm always the only one in the wrong. I'm genuinely curious in seeing what other people view this situation as, because my friends will obviously be biased in my favor.

Thank you for your time!