Am I over reacting? (relationship help)?

[MM]

Take a deep breath. Then ask her - calmly - why it's so important to her to make things "okay" with someone who has done so very many things to both her and you that are not okay at all. Ask her exactly what it is she thinks she's apologizing for: wanting a relationship where she wasn't going to be yelled at and ignored every day? Ask her how realistic she thinks it is that he will want to try and make things "okay" without trying to suck her back into all of that. Tell her you are very worried - not just for the sake of your relationship, but for her - about the continued hold he seems to have on her thoughts, and you really think she should talk to a therapist about this before she talks to him. Because while you can't tell her who she should and shouldn't keep in her life, you also can't pretend you're okay with this idea.

If she still insists on reaching out, then unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it, and you're not out of line to be worried she'll get herself mixed up with him again. But it is possible she just wants closure, and doesn't understand that trying to get it through him is not the best way to go about it. Before you go flying off the handle and make her think this is how all boyfriends act anyway, try to reason it out with her.