Am I being unreasonable about my housemate?

[Ding Dong]

OK. You seriously have a problem. Since the lease (I presume) is on your name, it was your responsibility to set a standard of rules. You failed yourself in this regard. Further, you brought your boyfriend over and this have created the president that boyfriends are allowed. The fact that your boyfriend leaves within an hour or so are irrelevant.
again you have failed yourself in that you allow your housemate to act as if she is the center of the earth. Everything else evolves around this.

Therefore this is my advice, call a meeting of all who dwells in this house and inform them that you have decided that in order to facilitate harmonious co-habitation you have decided lay down some basic rules of good conduct that everybody will have to adhere to as from then and give them the rules.

Since you are the head in this co-habitation arrangement, you have the right to lay the rules.

Please do some research before hand. Even draft an agreement of co-habitation. There are some excellent sample of this type of agreement on the internet. Let everyone sign such an agreement and if anyone then step out of line then have them evicted.

You are the boss now, not mommy or daddy. You've got to stand your ground even if it means loosing a friend or two along the line because it is obvious that these lazy clowns are abusing you.