How do I stop thinking about him? Why do I think he'll come back?

[Dollface91]

This has been the most disastrous breakup yet. It seems as though every breakup gets even more depressing and more difficult to recover from. To make matters worse, he won't even look at or talk to me. If you don't want anything to do with a person at least say so. I could deal with "It's over", but he has been shutting me out ever since this misunderstanding. After New Year's Day, I had wanted to talk to him about something important but he wasn't at either of his jobs. I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer his phone. I went on his Facebook page to leave him a message. I've been on his page before, just to look at some of his pictures. I didn't notice this before, but his profile said that he was married. When we started dating, he said that he wasn't. I was angry and left a bitter voicemail on his phone. I cooled off later on that week and went to his job to talk to him. He just ignored me. He even yelled at one of his workers to "TELL HER TO FUCKING GO". After two months of apologizing, text messages, voicemails, waiting and hoping he'll call me and handle this like an adult, I just gave up. I sent him a message saying that I'm sorry, I'm leaving him alone, I'll be around if he ever wants to see me again, and that he was the best boyfriend I ever had. I'm floundering through my job, I recently finished my college courses for the semester. I'm hanging out with my uncles and friends. I'm trying to look for a better job. I'm trying to exercise and eat healthier. I plan to go to church on Sunday. Despite all of this, I can't stop thinking about him. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me that he'll come back. Am I going daffy? The fact that he doesn't want to see me again after I've been nothing but good to him, literally makes my heart ache. The possibility that I might've been "the other woman" and all the sweet things he said to me were lies, nauseates me. I thank God that I didn't lose my "V" to him. He actually said the "L" word and it always scared me. You can't begin to fathom how terrified I was when he first said "it". Now all of a sudden, he doesn't want to acknowledge that I exist. What's going on and how do I fix it? Am I in denial of something? I've been incessantly mocked, criticized, emotionally neglected and undermined by two units that were supposed to love and support me. I've been used, abused, called out of name, betrayed, cheated on, beaten, sexually assaulted, threatened, had a gun pointed at my face by a few guys in my past that supposedly "loved and cared about" me. I've even been denied a stable, loving relationship that I deserved simply because his grandmother didn't like that I wasn't Samoan. Has all of this driven me to the brink of insanity?
I have stopped messaging him. I even deleted his number and text messages.