I need friend help or at least someone to listen..?

[john]

Ok so I'll cut the story short, sorta. I cheated on my girlfriend and I told my former best friend what happened because that's what friends do, am I right? And I know you can hate on me all you want for cheating but the thing is is that I never did it intentionally or on purpose. It was just one of those things that just happened. The girl I cheated on her with was one of her friends by the way and she regretted it as well. So anyways my best friend told my girlfriend what happened and obviously broke up with me. I deserve it I know. I can understand why he did and he told me. He felt it was right to tell her and I agree with him. I honestly wanted to tell her because when I kissed the other girl(and that's all we did) I was like wow.. did this really just happen.. I just became the type of person I disgrace in life and said I never wanted to be, but now I am. Also, just so happenly the day I cheated me and my girlfriend were fighting over stupid stuff and later on that week we made up. So anyways life goes on and I'm still friends with my friend and me and my ex tried to start working things out and what not and we were doing good and it stopped. But anyways, only a few weeks ago, I see he my ex and some friends of mine and his went to the movies. Now normally I wouldn't care but it's the fact that my friend didn't ask me if it was ok. I would have said yes just as long as he asked me first just to make sure. I was told he thought that I'd be ok with it and he's correct but it's the fact of not just assuming things, but rather asking the person themselves if it's ok just to be sure. But anyway I did like what any jealous person would do and took it to social media, twitter to the exact, and said "If you don't ask if it's alright to be hanging out with my ex, despite what happened, then I more than likely hate you. Like no..", so my ex seeing this subtweets me back being a ass about it and that went back and forth (if anyone wants to read it ask it's on Jan 31 https://twitter.com/Jsawyer14 and her name is Jamie Maroon if you wanna see the other side of things. There's other stuff mentioned but it's mainly irrelevant) so long story short things were said and it got pretty bad at some points and the thing is is that it was never about her. EVER. But anyways after that I would see my friend and ex and all them as usual going bowling or just in general hanging out. So my friend told me they were like holding hands and making out and at this point I'm about to murder both of them and I eventually saw the proof of them kissing via picture from Facebook because my friend blocked me and someone sent it to me. lol. Now that I'm done my story what should I do now? Like I want my friend back but I can never trust him again just for that reason and many other reason due to the past and things just wouldn't feel the same. I'm honestly so lost right now. Am I just to jealous? Maybe it's the fact that my now ex is the first girl I kissed and the reason why I became so happy after feeling so low and alone in life? Please help me :/