Women I need serious help ( a little long)?

[Candyman]

Hey everyone a little background on me I'm a 25 year old guy , going to the police academy Monday. I'm a a very insecure self conscious guy. So I get very standoffish, and defensive easily. Ive been in love with a girl I've known my whole life (since 7th grade), but she's been in a relationship for 3 years! and we got into a huge argument Sunday night while we were drunk. She cried a lot and screamed cause I said she was an acquaintance and she said we ere best friends. The argument escalated and it turned crazy direction when I asked if something else was bothering her which led to her telling me her dad use to hit her when he came home drunk. Also saying how I was giving everything ,I never been through anything and she wasn't popular when we were younger. (All irrelevant stuff) I started crying because she was crying so much, and I told her about to mom passing when I was 18. It was an embarressing/emotional moment we had.

I talked to her 2 days ago apologizing, and saying we are best friends and that I never seen her open up like that. She said she was over it, she didn't care but for me to stop mentioning the night she wanted told me she wanted to kiss me (which happened in May) because it's embarrassing. Her relationship was on the rocks at that time. I didnt 't know I can get to her like that but I said I would text her Friday to hangout and make it up to her. Here's my questions 1. Should I text her? 2. Seeing stuff with her and her boyfriend on twitter/Instagram/ Facebook kills me! How can I move on from her? 3. He won't admit it but did/does she have feelings for me? I sound like a mental case writing this but I want her so bad but I never felt good enough