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Can't do my homework because I don't have any friends?
04-28-2014, 04:04 AM
Post: #2
 
To be liked, we need to be more interestED than interestING. Listening is good for making friends: ask people questions about themselves and their opinions and listen to them without interruption, except for little comments that demonstrate that you're REALLY listening. It shows you are taking them seriously, as in respect and acceptance. Don't sit there thinking about what you will say, because that shows more interest in yourself than them. Little pauses demonstrate that you are thinking about what they have said anyway. You can ask them how they felt about what they have just told you, or other specific questions to show you have been listening and taking them seriously.

Be open minded and try not to disagree with people. For example, if they like a band you hate, ask what it is they like about them, best track, etc. (avoid the word, “why” as it can sound challenging). You can always say you don't listen to them much but you will now or something. Asking for advice is also good. Genuinely, of course, & don't overdo it. Ditto information – we feel pleased to tell someone something interesting they did not know, such as what’s on in town, latest sports score, etc., so by showing interest in their opinion, knowledge, etc. you’ll get some good feelings from them. Smiling is a good sign of acceptance. A lot of eye contact is also good - it can be a bit like a caress but without risk of an assault charge.
Remember, if you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend, and the best way to impress someone is to be impressed by them!
One thing you can do is always to ensure you have a straight back: sit, stand and walk tall (hips forward): this has the “reverse psychology” effect of helping us to feel more confident. Once we have self respect and a sense of self worth, we tend to find that other people respect us more too.

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Messages In This Thread
[] - Coach Simon - 04-28-2014 04:04 AM
[] - Ebony - 04-28-2014, 04:12 AM
[] - George - 04-28-2014, 04:20 AM

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